Truthful Tuesday

Today will be my first  Truthful Tuesday post.  After much prayer, I have decided to start with the story of how God restored my marriage. I choose to share this story so that God can receive ALL the glory - what was done in my marriage is a perfect example of God's love, compassion and mercy in both mine and Abel's life. 

My Story - Part 1

"Everyone says the first 5 years of marriage are the hardest. "

"Maybe you are expecting too much?" 

"Have you been praying about it?"

Anytime I heard the above responses in my quest for understanding and comfort, I wanted to scream: "Yes, I know what everyone says, no I do not think I am expecting too much, and I am praying!!??!?!?" How could I not be? I had two children under the age of 3, a husband that was so distant, the only way we communicated was fighting and a bucketful of questions. I was at the end of my rope. 

For the past five years I had constantly questioned my choices, my ability to hear from God, my value and my marriage. Is this what God has for me? There must be something better - at least I hope! Yet, here I was yet again pleading with God to give me the ok to leave my marriage. I just wanted some peace. To be able to leave the constant pressure cooker that was my life.  I wanted stability for my kids. How many times would Abel and I fight and yell, threaten each other with divorce? This could not go on. But it did, eventually to the point of Abel living with his parents for several months. 

During the time Abel lived with his parents I kept questioning God. Why me? What have I done? Did I not hear you right? The questions kept coming, but no answers.  Soon, we were in counseling and Abel moved back home. I hoped for the best, but still felt something was not right. But, I tried to put that aside, and move forward. I reasoned that this was my life - I had committed to this marriage before God, my family and friends. Even if things did not change, I had to do what God was telling me to do and stay. So, I put on a mask and pretended things were getting better - but at home with just me and God, I knew what was damaging our marriage.

I felt stuck. Weeks went by, the band-aid we had put on our marriage was beginning to give way. What do I do with this nagging in my heart? I know there is something Abel is not telling me. With all the work we are putting in - why are we not getting any closer? 

As I put all these thoughts out of my head, I struggled to get my mask ready. Today was my son's birthday party! We were going to celebrate, it was all about him! I had to get ready, it takes a while to put on the "things are getting better" costume. Thankfully Abel had gone to get us some lunch, so I was alone for a bit.  Maybe I could relax for a bit?? 

Nope, not a chance, he is back.  Well, at least lunch is here.  Before I could get up from the bed, Abel was in the bedroom. Something was wrong - he looked awful! All the color was drained from his face. I asked what was wrong - if he was sick, did he need to go to the hospital? I had never seen him like this. 

"No," he replied "just need to tell you something." 

In that moment, I knew. I do not know how to explain it, but I knew what he was about to tell me. ...

"For the past year or so, I have been having a relationship with someone else."

The following preview has been rated G!!

I am so excited! Back to my blog - my little piece of the Internet! I have been thinking a lot about what my first post would be about. I have really pumped myself up, maybe too much, because now I am at the point of nervousness! I have quite frankly, freaked myself out! How, you ask? Well, I posted this blog basically begging everyone to come back on Monday for my new and improved blog and now I am stuck.  Really stuck!! Seriously. I. Have. Nothing.

So, I think I will let you in on my plans for this here blog! I have set myself a little schedule, so here is a preview for you:

Monday - Free for all day.. so whatever I feel like goes. Can't get too structured, it IS a Monday after all! 

Tuesday - I am going to be calling my Tuesday posts - Truthful Tuesday!! This is the day I am dedicating to sharing my story - the hard fought battles and sweet victories of my walk with Christ. (As an incentive to come back tomorrow - I am going to start with the story of my sweetest victory and the hardest battle I have ever fought - the one for my marriage!)

Wednesday - Wordless Wednesday (took the idea from my rockin friend Carrie! storyofmyworl.blogspot.com) No words, just a pic.

Thursday - Thankful Thursday - God has done so much for me, I want to dedicate a day to brag on Him!

Friday - Fitness Friday - I have been so inspired my many of my blogging friends, that I am starting my own accountability post. 

So, that is what I plan to do! How about you? How do you keep on track so you do not neglect your blog? I would LUV to hear about it! 

Come back!!!!

I am sure that the faithful few of you who check my blog on a regular basis have been dissapointed for a while now. With the holidays things were so crazy! I wanted to ask (encourage, beg, plead; you get the point!) you to check back on Monday. I am going to work on my blog over the weekend, so I can have a brand new look to start the new year!

This year I want to share from my heart, to be real and honest. I hope that you will join me on this journey. I plan to be much more disciplined in blogging! I am even working on a schedule to keep me on track. So, stayed tuned! This is gonna be a great year!!!

And the WINNER is.....

Yesterday was the end of my Christmas Giveaway drawing. I must say, I had so much fun doing this. It was awesome to read so many different blogs. I had a hard time tearing myself away from my computer. So, on to the winner, drum roll please..........

JESSICA LEMAN!!!!

Congratulations Jessica!!! I want to thank everyone that came and looked at my blog, those that entered my drawing and those that did not! You guys all rock and everyone of you are winners in my book. I hope you will drop back by on occasion; as I will be dropping by your blog!

Come back tomorrow, I am sure I will have something wonderful to share.

Christmas Time Is Here!!!!

I love Christmas!!!! This morning I am so excited to kick off the Christmas season by participating in a Christmas Give Away that Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries is hosting on her blog. So if you do not normally read her blog, click on the link below or the Christmas button above and check out her give away and the many others that are joining in!

http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2008/12/cool-christmas-giveaway-day.html

Now, on to my give away! I am giving away an Arbonne gift basket!! Included in the basket are: a Mandarin Cashmere candle, a Mandarin Cashmere body lotion and body scrub. I love Arbonne products, so I thought I would share something I love! I will put it together in a gift basket and update my page when I have done that, but for now here are pictures of the products.

How do you register for this?? Simply leave me a comment telling me your favorite at home spa product. Then Iwill randomly draw a winner on Monday, Dec 8; so I can ship it out and you can receive it before Christmas, in case you want to give it as a gift. (Make sure you leave me a link to your page or an email, so I can contact you if you are the winner!)

Blessings!

Time with THE King!

Today I started reading the story of Esther. Oh, how I love this story!! (Have you seen the movie One Night With The King? It is awesome! ) If you have not read this book in the Bible, it tells the story of a young Jewish girl who becomes queen of Persia and eventually saves her people. But today I would like to focus on chapter 1, the beginning of the story.

In chapter 1, King Xerxes is throwing a huge party. After 7 days, he decides to summon Queen Vashti to the party. He wants her to come before him, wearing her royal crown, so everyone can see how beautiful she is. He sends his men to get her and she says no! What in the world?? As I read the chapter, I was overwhelmed by how much this decision caused Vashti to miss out on! The king was celebrating, there was beautiful linens, decorations, etc everywhere, I am sure the wine and food flowed freely, yet his desire was to see the queen. He sent for her, asking her to come wearing her crown to enhance her beauty and she flat out refused! By doing so, she set an awful example for the women of the land, she embarassed her husband and king; and ultimately she sealed her own fate and was banished from the king's presence and replaced.
I wonder why she made the choice she did? Was she nervous about all the people?? Was she irritated at the request? Was she trying to show her irritation at not being allowed at the king's feast? Regardless of her reason, she chose to be disobedient and not submissive, so she missed out on the lavishness of the king.

How often do we do that? Our King asks us to spend time with him, so He can see our beauty, enhance it even; and we have other things to do. We choose to spend our time with others, doing other things. Are they as important as God? No, yet we choose them over Him time and time again. I know I am guilty of this. I wonder how much of my King's lavish provision I have missed out on because I was disobedient and not submitting to his authority in my life?

Lord, please help me to be more attentive to you! I desire to spend more time with you. I need to spend more time with you. Show me your ways. Change me!

Out of the mouths of babes....

Isn't it funny how we are the ones put in charge of teaching our children, but so often they end up teaching us? Abel and I work very hard to teach our children about God, and having a relationship with him - which can be pretty difficult somedays, we are talking about a 4 and 6 year old! But then, there are those moments, when they say or do something that humbles you. I would like to share one of those.

Every morning on the way to school, I say a prayer with the kids. We pray for their classmates, teachers and for their behavior. Several weeks ago I started adding my paraphase of Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.) Usually that part of the prayer went something like this: Thank you Jesus that I can do all things through you, because you give me the strength to do my best.

Well, Olivia took that part and made it her own! Now every time we pray morning or night - she adds her own interpretation: "Thank you that we can do all things through Christ, and if we do not do all things through Christ we can not do things."

WOW!!! My four year old has captured a fundamental truth, and stated it so simply! The best thing is, she really believes this to the core of her being. I am so grateful that she had a heart for Jesus at such a young age. She is teaching me everytime she says this prayer!